About the Book

A Message from Tomi Tuel
Book Excerpt
Table of Contents

More Kudos for Tomi’s 101 Things I Learned After My Divorce:

“Inspiring and optimistic, this book is a breath of fresh air at a time when it is hard just to breathe. 101 Things I Learned After My Divorce has the whole divorce recovery thing nailed. Clever, witty and full of real-life vignettes is what makes this book a must-have for anyone going through a divorce.”

– Roger Crawford, author of the best-seller
How High Can You Bounce?

“Membership has it privileges, even if it means joining the ranks of the newly divorced. Don't despair; this book will comfort you during this next stage of your life. Witty, bold, and edgy, this book will be your lifeline as you go through the uncomfortable process of expanding your comfort zone.”

– Holly Ramona, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

“Tomi takes a positive, up beat and constructive approach to a subject that touches us all as we, our friends, our colleagues at work or our family deal with the emotionally charged subject of divorce. Having been through a divorce personally, I was surprised to find myself laughing at old wounds that had never seemed all that funny before. This is a testament to the light, yet deep, approach taken in this highly useful book.”

– Stephen Lundin, Big Tuna Ph.D. and author of the four FISH! books and Top Performer

"Tomi Tuel let's you know everything you did not want to know about divorce. When divorce happens, her 101 Things I Learned After My Divorce brings rays of sunshine through the dark clouds. Her hurts, insight, wisdom and hope are threads to understanding."

– Marvin Todd, Ph.D., Marriage and Family Therapist

A Message from Tomi Tuel:

My hope for readers is that by reading through the pages of my book they will see themselves in the stories I tell – and that it will empower them to see through the madness on their own and forge ahead to build a new future.

Many times I could pinpoint what stage friends were in just by having a short conversation with them. I often thought, “Oh my, you’re in the ‘Deer in the Headlights’ stage – and trust me, it’s just going to get even worse.” Of course, I never said so; you can’t do that to someone hurting. Most often, I provided a sympathetic ear and shared a heartfelt story. It was enough simply to let my friend know that what he or she was feeling was, indeed, normal.

Excerpt 1 (Introduction):

At the very beginning of my divorce, a good friend, who happened to be divorced himself, told me, "Everyone should experience a divorce once."

I looked at him baffled. "You're kidding, right?" He insisted I hear him out.

He told me, "You may think it’s absurd now, but you will see what I mean." You will learn things about yourself and about others. You will learn how to appreciate the other person in your life more. You will relearn things you thought you already knew and your perspective will change.”

As the years passed, I remembered his words. How true they rang! This is a book about what you will learn after experiencing a divorce (the lessons I wish I would have learned sooner). You will realize that divorce is about survival and when it is over you will be a different person. It will bring you deeper connections with life and people that you never experienced before. You will journey to the ends of your comfort zone and realize that stretching your limits is life altering.

These interactions with friends and my own divorce experience led to 101 Things I Learned After My Divorce.